1. What do you do for a living?
I’m a struggling (but funny and recently handsome) stand-up comedian. But not funny or handsome enough to afford living in Folsom.
2. How did that come about?
My life hit rock bottom personally and professionally and telling people about it made them laugh. They said, “Wow, you should talk about that on stage!” Nothing says comedy apparently like being fired, degraded, and made fun of for being out of shape.
3. If you could interview anyone dead or alive, who would it be?
Britney Spears. She has made SO MUCH money selling product without worth. I want to see if she is really smart or if we’re just really stupid.
4. What cartoon character you most identify with?
I guess I am like Vanity from the Smurfs or maybe Miss Piggy. I am highly neurotic, thus making me the foil of many a joke. This is an interesting question that I’ve never been asked before. More and more I meet people who have unhealthy obsessions with cartoon characters. I met a woman with body art of TAZ above her breast. That scares me. It makes me want to get rid of my Doogie Howser tattoo.
5. What brought you to Folsom?
I came to Folsom to open a video store, but then there were already sixteen of those so I thought, “How about a pizza place?” Hmm, 28 of those. Then I figured, “Ok, maybe I should just finish elementary school.” That was in 1987. And congratulations are in order. I’m going to finish this spring!